Disintegrate

rate

Home.. i miss home... why??? the feeling is so overwelming... its even worst than the past 4 yrs of studying here in perth...

anyway, this was an email i wrote to one of my babex...

i was having very very extremely bad depression when i came back... my nose bled continuously for 3days, i was having giddy spells, and i was missing home so badly, i told myself, i want to abandon everything here and head back to sg for good... it was that bad.. i cried and cried non stop on the phone with alvin, i told him "i want to go home"

and he really tot something was wrong with me... cos i never in fact wanted to go back to singapore right? u guys know what... i treat as though my whole life is committed to australia le... but i was having so bad home-sick that i really nearly book the next air tix to go back to singapore lo... i hated working, not workin as in working, but working in this enviro... i hate being look upon, i hate people staring at my computer when im typing, i hate the fact that im giving no privacy, i hate it that im asian, and being the only 2 asians in the company, i hate the fact of racism in this company...

i wanted to end it all, head back to sg for good, and at least i know, even though i will get longer hours, even though the pay will nt be as good, at least, i dont have to face racism... politics in the company is hard enough, what more racism heys? i was so depressed, i just slept and cried everyday.. only became better this monday cos when my financial planning boss came back, at least i got something to look forward to going work too...

now, i just had my review yesterday, and then... i had a pay increment of $2k for the yr... its not alot, but yeah... i mean, i seriously dont really mind about my pay lo... just enough to keep me surviving, pay my rent and my bills, im more than happy... but, during my review, both my bosses were very satisfied with me... and they say i was outstanding.. and also, i managed to voice out my feelings of not being given enough work to do, and time passes very slowly for me becos of tt... now today, they are starting to have confidence in me and giving me work to do lo...

mabx, i think i will still go back for good... i want to slog my life out... i dont want to be such a slumber and do nothing most of the time... time passes very slowly mans.. o well, probably next yr lahs, if i can tahan, i would go back to singapore for good next yr.. and not come back to this lonely island ever again...

yes, i know your babe sounds like she's going thru depression. im... but thankfully, alvin is here with me... luckily... and things are not as bleat as before... but o well.. its ok...

A pay increment, more work to do... hopefully, these will stop me from being so super homesick... shall call daddy when he comes back from hk and discuss with him.. hai~