Disintegrate

rate

my body's breaking down... guess i've over-exert myself these couple of weeks.. been studying in the labs till 5am everyday... gosshh.. no wonder my body cant take it anymore..its resisting against all these late nights of mine..

nose blocked, throat itchy.. starting signs of a flu.. o man.. i cant fall sick now.. need to study manss... guess the flu vaccination that i took when i was back in Singapore is not effective hey.. ha!

received a super encouraging piece of news from one of my brother of Christ.. He's someone that i look upon to, he was spiritually high, and i can see the desire he has for God everytime i talked to him.. This bro, however, went thru a rough patch for the past 10mths.. he started to question whether there's really a God, whether what he should be believing in Him. He started to have doubts after accepting Christ 7yrs ago...

BUT.. i know when he shared with me 10mths ago, i can see him 1 day coming back to Zion.. i can see the passion he has for God.. all i could do was to pray for him, and nowww... HE'S COMING BACK TO CHRIST!!!

ha!!! im super encouraged by my bro manss.. always cracking me up with his "dae" comments.. i remembered i got an sms on friday morning, he asked me if i have cell today, and said "The man above spoke" hahahaha!!! he came to my cell grp, and darlin joey was leading worship..

after cell, i asked him "are u... going to come church on sunday? are u.. going to come cell next week?? are u.. going to come church the following sunday??" and his answer was YES!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
he told me in the car that the song "You Alone" was the song that made him accepted Christ 7yrs ago.. and to think that joey dear chose that song out of so many worship songS!!! if this is not a miracle, then what???

yes, im extremely excited that my brother is coming back to Christ.. i know my prayers will be answered.. and this one, has been answered!!! bro, continue to grow in the lord.. im always amazed by what u have to share when we are crapping around.. i know that these 10mths had been a tiring time, but DAE, u are coming back to HIM!!! and i know, i know that He's got lottas stuff in-stall for u!!! He will be up there, HAHA at u if u are notti horr!!! heheee

hahahaha!!! im abit late arrhh.. budden yeah.. introducing... MY BAPTISM PICTURES!!! HAHAHAHA...

*headache* HEADACHE... now is 3.18am, and im still in school labs.. gosh.. when did feli become so hardworking mans???

been in the school labs almost everyday... doing my work and slacking off as well.. ha! at least its better than being at home when i will get distracted by TV, my darling bed as well.. ha!

daddy's now in Cambodia.. o man.. i miss him so much.. i want to go and see him, i want to go back and just hug him, let him irritate me, sayang me, grapping me and say "come, let papa kiss" hai~ daddy, i miss u...

still thinking whether i should go Cambodia anot.. dont know if daddy will allow me to suddenly pop by and visit him.. think he will scream his head off mans...

o well.. going back to singapore soon.. end of november.. left with summer and im done with my uni life.. time to embrace the working world soon hey.. i dont know what my future holds, but i know, God is in control of my future.... he will bring me where he wants me to go, he have great plans for me... as long as i dont lose faith, as long as i dont stop running this race..... his plans will be the best for me!!! *smiles*

Was listening to this song when i was studying.. this song.. made me teared.. especially the 1st verse... for those who heard my testimony yesterday would understand hey.. i know he doesnt care about the past, he knows me more than i know myself... and thats so true... *smiles*

JESUS DOESN'T CARE (Point of Grace)
You tell me no one would love you
If they could see deep inside
You say your friends might desert you
If they knew the truth you hide, well
There's one who knows you better than
You know yourself
And he still loves you more than anyone else

(Chorus)

Jesus doesn't care what you've done before
How you've rebelled or slammed the door
No matter how far you've run or how long you've been untrue
Jesus doesn't care

He still offers forgiveness to you
For so long you've run from the Father
Into a life of sin
And each time He lovingly called you
You turned your back on Him
No matter if your failures are great or small
There's no way to hide them
He already know them all

(Repeat Chorus)

How many tears will you cry
Till you cry out to the Father
An honest plea for mercy He will not deny
Trust Him and you're gonna find

(Repeat Chorus)

22nd October 2005.. the day where felicia is born again!!!!! hahahahaha!!! super excited manss... why??? cos this date is my baptism day!!!! heheee

i tried to practise my testimony yesterday.. after abby sent the corrected copy to me.. as i recite, i cried.. gosh.. facing the mirror reciting my testmony and i cried.. what more in front of so many people that will be there witnessing my baptism..??? gosh...

came home from mag's house after preparing the sandwich.. and i decided to try reading it again... i dont want to memorise my testimony, then it will have no more meaning and "feel"... so yahs... tried reading it aloud.. and i cried again.. gosh... cannot even continue...

hai~ im such an emotional girl man.. haiyyoo!!! how to prevent myself from not crying? thats like super impossible.. and i know that if i do cry, it will be tears of joy like what maggie told me...

22nd October 2005.. marks my new birthday... a time for me to rejoice... a time that i knoww will impact me for the rest of my life..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Granny's not feeling too well.. fell down at work.. mummy's asking her not to work but she's persisting to work. gosh... why cant she just listen to her children and not work? although im not really close to her.. but i just want her to be well.. i want her to watch me as i go down the aisle.. i want to offer tea to her like in traditional chinese wedding.. i want to see her with my children, her great-grandchildren.....
Me and granny dont talk much.. cos i cant really speak hokkien when i was younger.. She's 6 children, and has 17 grand-children.. she dont particularly favour me ever since i was young despite me being the eldest grand-daughter. However, ever since i came to australia, every time i go back, she will cook something in the canteen for me to eat.. all the yummy food that i love.. when im back in singapore, i make it a point to fetch my mummy and granny from the race-course, despite where i was, or how tired i m... i dont want granny to take the bus back to home.. i want to just do my duties for her.. i know she's getting old.. i just want to take care of her as much as i can..

just been told that uncle sam was warded in the hospital for 3 weeks.. due to diabetes and some other stuff.. daddy told me that he actually went into coma for quite awhile.. uncle sam was a heavy smoker... and he actually quit smoking because of the time he was warded in hospital.
i remember Uncle Sam as the uncle who fetched me from my grandpa's funeral at Telok Blangah to Yio Chu Kang where his burial was. He let me sit in the front, and told me "feli, u will grow up to be a beautiful woman"
Uncle Sam is cross eyed.. so daddy always makes fun of him.. he and daddy are like best buds.. every Chinese New Yr, he will give me a "fat" ang bao.. and will always say "u getting prettier and prettier harr..." i remember the times that he will smoke soo much.. that i commented to daddy when i was younger that "Uncle Sam is like a chimney" *smiles*

another bad news.. uncle brandon (uncle staying in rossmoyne) just got back from Singapore on thursday last week... he was admitted to freo hospital.. suspected dengue case.. he stayed for 2 days or something.. and when i went to pop by their place on sunday, aunty rena told me that he's much better.. even playing with the kids now.. although i didnt see him on sunday, but hearing his voice was good enough.

Was talking to daddy just now.. and he told me that uncle brandon got admitted to hospital again today at 5pm... he was feeling very dizzy, and there's some blood disorder or something..
Im not really close with uncle brandon.. all i remember him is "feli, eat le!!! u so skinny" everytime i go their place, he will ask me to eat and eat.. he will ask me to drink wine with him when we go to restaurants.. he will always pack a red-packet for all his nephews and nieces despite not being in singapore during Chinese New Yr..
He's a very fierce looking man... killed a dog with his bare hands cos the dog was barking at him and my cousin, went up to people when they point the middle finger at him when he was driving. He's someone i respect.. not because of his actions, but because of how he disciplines his kids.. he makes it a point to try to fly back every time his 3 children have any competition. He will massage their legs the night before their swimming competition. When i witness that, i acually cried..

He's someone that scares all of us (cousins) everytime.. but yet, he will never scold any of us... he love his kids alot.. and i really admire him for that.

3 different people... same kinda news... health deteriorating, old age catching up on them... They may not be counted as my immediate family (daddy, mummy or korkor), but they mean alot to me.. All the amount of work, the amount of money they've earned ever since they started slogging in their jobs.. and in the end, all of these no longer matter..

someone told me that this is part and parcel of life.. "all the money in the world cant buy back your health" <-- how true is that... we should treasure our health.. all i can do is pray for them. o God, hear my cries as i pray for them.. heal them in Your name..................................

Jeslyn, Me, YanJing n Jean

Me and Meiyan

Melvin & Me

Me & Jimmy

Me & Uncle Roy

Me & Alfred

Cell Group!!

Benji & Me

Congratualations to David and Inez on their wedding day, 1st October 2005. their wedding ceremony was very sweet, touching and... totally INDESCRIBABLE!!! i believe their wedding made alot of girls thought about theirs as well.. hahahaa.. i was one of them tooo!!! i will post up the pics soon!!!!

Just attended Herlina and Ariyani's graduation as well.. gosh.. i cant wait for mine.. i want to stand up there, and make my daddy proud of me.. daddy had paid and put soo much effort into me, allowing me the chance to study abroad and everything. i want to make my earthly daddy and most importantly, my Heavenly daddy proud. I've set my mind in studying and obtaining good results. i've been slacking too much... i dont want to waste any more of daddy's money.. i need to do well this final lap..

I'VE DECIDED TO GET BAPTISED!!! hahahaha!!! im super happy.. finally.. kept on asking myself whether im ready anot, whether i can actually submit my all to Him. i've realised, it is not a matter of asking when we are ready.. if we keep on asking that, we will NEVER be ready.
while writing my testimony, i cried.. lynn said i will surely cry on baptism day itself.. gosh.. i think i will tooo... even typing this testimony made me cry.. what's more on that day itself.. gosh.. going be super shy hey!!! haiyyyoooo

and i think i wrote too much... think abby has to really go and summarise it for me... i dont know how to summarise my life experience, i dont know how more to summarise His undying love for me.. i will share my testimony here after my baptism day... hehee.. and i will include more stuff as well... stuff that i cant squeeze into my testimony!!! hahahaha

alrighty.. got to go and post pictures noW!!!!!