Disintegrate

rate

just watched a beautiful show, Life is a Miracle... a true life story by christians...

its a touchin show, on how this girl, having fight and lived thru colon cancer, found herself with a tumour in the spine 3 yrs after that...

she had to go for chemo and radiation. it was her husband who took the cross in his hands, and walked together with her on the aisle known as "dead man walking"

with only 2mths to live, she became an angel to other people's lives, helping them to walk thru the path.

what really touched me was the strength that she and her husband had... although she tried to matchmake her husband with her best friend, knowing that she will be dying, the husband still told her "i love you... only"

The biggest fear in life is not death, but hopelessness. The verse of the show...

i cant take it anymore...

i cannot stand working here anymore...
its not that i dont like this place, its the people that's making me real uncomfortable...

i dont mind people lecturing me for something that i've done wrong
but i just cannot stand the fact that even there is nothing wrong, they have to be against us asians.. why? is this a way to show that they as caucasians are superior?

bullshit!!!

i hate this place, i hate that bitch and that male withc, i hate them to the core...
yet i cant do anyting about it... i cant go and tell my financial planning boss that i dont want to do accounting work becos of them...

that will make me sound so childish...
As lin said... "What to do? just bear with it lo" but how long do i have to bear with it?

im practically dragging my feet to work every single morning.. i hate that feeling...
i want the feeling to want to come to work, not the feeling of being forced to...
sigh~ God, pls help me..

work has been as usual, boring again..

i hate it when i've got nothing to do
i hate it when im just sitting here surfing the net while others look so busy
i hate it when the bitch walks behind my back and stares at my screen
i hate to hear that racist bitch voice
i hate to work
i hate...

Yes, i hate the company, i cant wait till its the end of the yr, and then i will look for other companies to work... I need to have at least 1 yr before moving on, if not my resume will look extremely horrible... i just cant understand how some people are so busy at work, whereas i can sit here and do nothing for the entire day... i've even told my boss, "ive got nothing to do, do u have anything for me?" and all he said was "Wait"

yeah, so now, waiting for work, and waiting for my lunch time.. luckily this week is a 4 day week cos of australia day... if not, i think me and chui lin will seriously kill ourselves hey...

on a happier note, i've got my leave approved!!! m looking forward to heading back to singapore mans!!! going back to sg on the 27th of May, and coming back on the 10th June.. and me and rachelsoh_superbitch are going THAILAND!! whoooo!!! we'll be goin on 5th-8th of June... got free 1 way tix, and everything added in including hotel accommodation is only S$230??? Dirt cheap!!!

Yeah, sorry my bitchy group for not calling u guys along... i book it in a haste also... rachel was like "huh?? Really??? We going to thailand together??" but yeh, bitches, u've got skols and work to go, so yeah... we shall do it TOGETHER another time ok???

so now, i just have to book my return flight for tiger airways... it costs about S$550 for a return airfare.. not too bad i reckon...

ok, got to go nw... lunch time!!!

tiger airways is flying to perth!!! yeah!!! means i will be able to get cheap tix!!!!

was checking out the air tix from perth return, all in incl tax, is about A$450.00. Dirt cheap mans... compared to Qantas and SQ... hahahaa!! am so tempted to book a flight now mans.. just have to count the number of annual leave days i've left... hahahaha!!!

Air Asia is giving out free air tix!! im thinking of booking to bangkok... if darlin not going back to sg, maybe my bitches would want to go with me leis??? hahaha!! dirt cheap lahs.. go and check it out babex!!!

Stupid thieves... break in and smashed my car window on saturday... stupid thieves..

Me and dear were at north freo beach that day, and we left everything in the boot, thinking that it will be safe... Who knowS?? these smart disgusting thieves were eyeing on us, and actually broke my car window to steal dear's bag and my empty bag!!!

When we went to the beach about 3pm, everything was fine... car was good.. when we came back, CAR WAS STILL GOOD!!! dear went to take a shower and wash his snorkel for 5mins, while i went to bath.. and GOTCHA!! the disgusting thieves attacked my car window, smashed it with a ginger beer bottle, opened my boot, and took dear's bag which had his wallet, 2 singlets, shorts, sunnies, and mobile... my little silly dear didnt realise that they actually took his stuff after quite long! Ha!! i came back from my shower, and realise the window broke.. i actually felt something in me to ask me to go back to the car quick... and when i did, i saw the glass shatters, and i was like "o shit, there goes my hi-fi, phones, camera and wallet... o shit"

but guess what?? The disgusting thieves did not take any of my stuff, although i put everything into the glove compartment... and didnt take the hi-fi either!!! i was thinking, why would they not take the hi-fi when its just pressing the button to detached it from the system, and could easily fetched $200?? but they are even smarter!! they actually open the boot and took my empty bag, and i swear it was empty... and dar's bag... they are quite smart not to take my beach bag, cos it had nothing but my wet towel hey??

o well.. its lost, + a smashed window, made the police report, and all the stuff.. had a temp window fixed up yesterday morning with HBF... they are good hey.. super effective.. me and dar had a call in the morning from the police telling us they found 2 bags... and that was then i realised "shit.. where is my black sling bag??? it got stolen too??" that sneaky slimy thieves!!! shit face!!! but yeah, they found our bags, the stuff lost was dar's wallet, driver's licence, and mobile... why would they want a lousy mobile that will die in 1hr even if the battery is fully charged? i wonder... haahahah!!

O well.. lesson learnt... when going beach, bring $10 and no wallets, nothing, no phones nothing... this is what we will get in australia, and wont happen in singapore.. if this happened in singapore, it will be in the news and everything, but here, breaking windows are so common man!!

hai~ is this a sign for me to head back to singapore????? *wonderS*

Home.. i miss home... why??? the feeling is so overwelming... its even worst than the past 4 yrs of studying here in perth...

anyway, this was an email i wrote to one of my babex...

i was having very very extremely bad depression when i came back... my nose bled continuously for 3days, i was having giddy spells, and i was missing home so badly, i told myself, i want to abandon everything here and head back to sg for good... it was that bad.. i cried and cried non stop on the phone with alvin, i told him "i want to go home"

and he really tot something was wrong with me... cos i never in fact wanted to go back to singapore right? u guys know what... i treat as though my whole life is committed to australia le... but i was having so bad home-sick that i really nearly book the next air tix to go back to singapore lo... i hated working, not workin as in working, but working in this enviro... i hate being look upon, i hate people staring at my computer when im typing, i hate the fact that im giving no privacy, i hate it that im asian, and being the only 2 asians in the company, i hate the fact of racism in this company...

i wanted to end it all, head back to sg for good, and at least i know, even though i will get longer hours, even though the pay will nt be as good, at least, i dont have to face racism... politics in the company is hard enough, what more racism heys? i was so depressed, i just slept and cried everyday.. only became better this monday cos when my financial planning boss came back, at least i got something to look forward to going work too...

now, i just had my review yesterday, and then... i had a pay increment of $2k for the yr... its not alot, but yeah... i mean, i seriously dont really mind about my pay lo... just enough to keep me surviving, pay my rent and my bills, im more than happy... but, during my review, both my bosses were very satisfied with me... and they say i was outstanding.. and also, i managed to voice out my feelings of not being given enough work to do, and time passes very slowly for me becos of tt... now today, they are starting to have confidence in me and giving me work to do lo...

mabx, i think i will still go back for good... i want to slog my life out... i dont want to be such a slumber and do nothing most of the time... time passes very slowly mans.. o well, probably next yr lahs, if i can tahan, i would go back to singapore for good next yr.. and not come back to this lonely island ever again...

yes, i know your babe sounds like she's going thru depression. im... but thankfully, alvin is here with me... luckily... and things are not as bleat as before... but o well.. its ok...

A pay increment, more work to do... hopefully, these will stop me from being so super homesick... shall call daddy when he comes back from hk and discuss with him.. hai~

I wanna go home... Go home for good... and never come back again...

MY studio pictures!!!!! hehee... me and my family!!!! Just going to tell the uncle to do some photoshop to my face... i was so bloated then!!!! Must be the TCC food that me and dear had before we headed to take the pictures... hehee... here goes!!!

ME!!!

Me and Family...

Went back to SG on 21st, came back on 1st... ITS TOO SHORT!!! i didnt manage to meet up with people, did got get much time to spend with my bitches, did not spend enough time with my family!!!! arrggghhh!!! but i guess if i stayed any longer, i would turn into a grouchy pig... The weather is horrendous, and the dust is terrible!!! i couldnt sleep at all when i went back!!!! and the people in town!!!!!! and the rain!!! eekksss!!! But overall, a trip i really enjoyed, and good quality time spent with my babes... attached are some pictures that i took at 2am with my babes.. The reason why we look so BLUR...!!!!

hehee... love u guys bits!!!!

Grace, Me & Linz

Mabz & Me

Bitches Club

Rachel & me