Disintegrate

rate

just came back to Singapore yesterday... the feeling is... indescribeable.. *sigh*

the moment the plane landed onto Changi Airport, my first thought was "i want to go back to Perth" that sounds weird hey.. since singapore has all the attractions, all the yummilious food, all the shopping and everything.. But, all these no longer pull me back to this country anymore.. I feel as though i dont really belong here, and when i was walking thru Changi Airport, i was thinking "what m i going to do for the next 3months here?"

To me, Perth has already became my home.. my friends are there, and basically, my "family" is in Perth as well.. to people that knows me, im not really close to my family back in Singapore.. Moreover, i went abroad when i was... 16yrs old?? and around that age, i didnt had much friends in Singapore.. my close friend mabel is now studying abroad, and like there's only a couple of friends that im sortta close with here in Singapore..

Alot of people yearn to go back to their home countries and everything.. whenever i see the excitment in them, i felt lost.. I too, want to feel the excitment whenever i board the plane and head back to singapore, i want that sortta feeling.. But, naahhh.... maybe cos i dont have a good relationship with my family, and have little friends here.. so ya, Singapore now seems more of a holiday destination for me rather than a place that i can stay forever..

Messaged Pastor Joyce yesterday to tell her how much i miss her.. hahahaha.. sounds abit silly but ya, i dont know why, i miss Pastor Patrick and Pastor Joyce, Renee and Kaitlyn alot... they've just became a part of me in my life... people that are concern about my wellbeing and everything.. it feels so nice just to be loved by them..
Pastor Joyce smsed be back and asked me to continue to grow with God, and she misses me too.. hahahaha.. how sweet hey.. it was then that i told myself "fel, as much as u want to play, make sure u dont backslide..."

i've promised maggie that i wont backslide... i've promised myself too... this holiday, i will use these 3mths to make myself grow closer and stronger with God.. and not drift further away from him... *smiles*