Disintegrate

rate

PHEW!!! the last time i actually updated my blog was 26th November 2005. Gosh... thats almost like 2mths already hey... ok, time to update my blog and the happenings!!!!

Uh, came back to singapore that time with a very heavy burden.. didnt know what to expect on my LAST real holiday as a student... after that, i will be embracing the working life. budden... all i can sae is.. things have been going better than i expected except for a few hiccups.....

Received my results for my semester on 14th December 2005.. That time was a real mental breakdown for me... suicidial tots came to my mind, "why i didnt do well?" etc... i failed 2 units by marginal marks... by 2 marks and 3 marks respectively.. and 1 of the units i actually told myself i could easily score a credit for it... but alas, things didnt turn out as i expected them to be...

Well, these are some of the things that will bring you down in your walk with Him. WHY? cos all these are trials to bring you down! When i saw my results, i kept on crying non stop, and asked if there was really a God around.. Why m i to believe Him? i've studied so much for my audit, and yet these are the results i got... Was it becos like my daddy said, "girl, u spend too much time in church?"
I dont know.. i really dont... i just kept crying and hated myself even more.. for not being able to meet my parents expectations of me..

But thankfully, i've got a very very supportive daddy.. he told me that he will keep on sponsoring me non stop.. he said that im his only daughter, and if he dont love me, who will? he said not to worry, and asked me to do my best... and he believed i did studied for the matter of fact...

Thats the end of my results.. another thing bothering me was my Granny.. she fell down while at Waterloo Street, and like she have to go for an op after Chinese New Yr.. gosh.. she's so poor thing... she cannot even walk properly nw... she used to be so agile, could go wherever she wanted without any of her children/grandchildren around... now wherever she goes, we must be there to keep watch of her...

Im not complaining or anything, i love my granny alot even though she practises the Chinese Tradition of loving boys more than girls.. budden she's someone that will always whip up nice dishes for me and everything when im back in singapore. i guess thats how she expresses her love towards me... friends reading this, pls keep my granny in prayer.. she really needs it alot...

STUDIES!!! im doing my summer course now as alot of people will know.. gosh... its SUPER busy mans... assignments after assignments.. gosh... going to breakdown any moment manss.. budden i know i cant!!! and i will never allow myself to breakdown...!!!

Oooo.. finally can mention on a happier note.. there was this guy that had always been by my side whenever i was feeling down and lost and out.. always doing stuff for me and everything.. he didnt believe in Christ, but now, i could see him advancing towards Christianity.. this is really a big achievement for him.. i see him praying before meals, asking me curiously about God... and everything... and yeah... thanks for being by my side... *hugs*

If you r reading this dearie, xie xie ni.. continue to grow in God, and i promise, i wont backslide... thanks for being my pillar of strength, my punching bag, my listening ear, my shoulder to cry on, my everything.. *hugs*

Ok... thats all for this VERY long post.. gotta go and do my work now.. SIGH~